I Blew It

What happens when your friends wait for you to come play? they dry up - well if they're paints that is. I loved the dye-na-flow paints and purchased them several years back. But i waited too long to play with them - so this is what i found - you can't really see it - but they are pretty much dried up.

I blew it and blew it some more

its never too late

So with what I had left I made a small journal page - 3x5. As I worked I thought about how many times I've blown it in life. So since there wasn't much left in only a few bottles out came the straw and I blew and blew and blew some more. Actually this was a very healing process for me.
I realize I like to buy new products, new books, and new supplies. But and here is the tough realization; I don't want to use them because I might use them all up or wear them out. I think that is a childhood fear from being reared in a family of 5 children with a single mom.

I need to set my goals higher and focus on using one thing a day no matter if it is the last of it.
Trust is an issue here I believe. Don't let yourself dry up - don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Oh boy - I am talking to myself. Really talking to my inner self.