Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Healing Pen or Fork Tongue

Soul Jrl Weave
We were suppose to weave our hopes and dreams into a pocket. The pocket part will have to wait. I was working on this last night while tearing my son apart with my frustration and words.
There was no healing in this tongue; only hurt and pain for another son, who never asks anything but gives all the time. I have to say it set me off and by the time the dust had settled everyone was clearing out.

Well it wasn't so great at my house last night. I opened my mouth and put my foot, actually whole, entire body in. Swallow me up whale, let me be like Jonah and run away. I get worn down and put in middle, which i try to stay out of that position; and get blamed for it all. Jeepers this really stinks.

I am working on not withdrawing into my own little cocoon when this happens, but I ain't there yet as they say. I have not arrived and God isn't finished with me yet or my family. I have to thank God for his mercy. I desperately need it right now. Jonah had to repent and do what God asked - go to Nineveh. I just need to go back to my son and apologize for opening mouth and inserting foot. My real frustration did not start with him but it sure ended there.

Words in my vocabulary: repent, humility


Sherry said...

I can so relate to your last night's episode. I'm always stuck in the middle and it's always my fault. Though I have learned to keep quiet, walk on eggs shells, just to keep the peace. Then I end up praying over it for days on end.

Sue said...

I'm sure your son understands where you're coming from. It is so hard to stay on an even keel; prayers for you and your family today and always!

KathrynAntyr said...

When I'm not my best I try to remember that at any given time, I am doing the best that I can. I'm grateful that you have a journal to express your feelings - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the pretty. Your words here are authentic and when you go to your journal you may have intentions of following along a prompt and that is a great start but letting it take you where you are at and what you need is so healthy. Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggles with us.

Keep journaling!
{soul hugs}

Melb. said...

None of us ever "arrive" so just get that out of the way.

From experience don't go into your "cocoon". In the long run it ends up hurting you terribly.

Jacq said...

I so appreciate your post. Even with adult children I sometimes find myself in a position I do not like. There are days I need to be in my cave for quiet time to get in touch with my soul.