Yesterday I stopped by my library and picked up several different books that caught my eye to read. One is called Gift of the Red Bird by Paula D'Arcy. In the midst of her grief in losing a husband and daughter in a car accident with a drunk driver she finds a deeper relationship with God. She was also pregnant at the time with another daughter. In her giving birth she says she now realizes her daughter is a gift. My youngest son's name means "Gift from God". And he is definitely that. She also states, "She (her new baby) is a gift, mine to hold but not possess. Makes all the difference. You treat a gift differently than you do a possession."
I wonder in the exhausted state I seem to be in what am I claiming as a possession? Who have I crossed over with from a gift to a possession. Oh I have "stuff" for my art work but does it possess me or do I still look at it all as a gift from God to use for His glory and to express His love?
Deep within me I am searching for that deeper love of God. To know Him, To breathe Him, to live solely for Him - no matter what else is happening around me. Have I given Him my all? I know from where He has brought me - out of the mirey clay and definitely set my feet on solid ground. But have I grown indifferent, am I taking advantage of this position and neglecting my relationship with Him? I know the answer is "yes" to these questions and I need to quiet myself before Him.