Monday, March 03, 2008

Dis-heart-ened or Dis-hardened

Dis-heart-ened; that is what I am feeling today. I am so glad God sees me through Jesus's eyes otherwise I would probably be fried by now.
Yesterday was an extremely tough day bc I am seeing my heart in some areas and I don't like what I see. Now to be able to do anything about it. That is my cry for today with God. I find myself back to repenting. Easter is coming and we know Jesus arose from the grave. He is Alive!
and so that means I should be fully alive. But since I live in the flesh and with sin, I need to examine myself.
At my guild meeting on Saturday I walked to the foyer and when I did a burst of sunshine hit me in the face through this stain glass window. When I looked up I knew I needed to run and get my camera and take a picture of it. I know there is a lesson, a great visual lesson, in this. I would love to create this in a quilted wall hanging.
I am reading a book by Antoinette Mann called from the ATTIC to the ALTAR.
It's her true story. Can you imagine being left behind by your mother and having to sleep in an attic? being abused by others at a young age, (this I know about) and feeling the pain of rejection as a child when all you wanted was to be loved.
The reading on this book is slow going, probably bc of where I am within myself. I guess its time to clean the closets, attics and anywhere else that has skeletons hanging around in me. Funny isn't this the time of year they refer to as "Spring Cleaning"?


Sherry said...

Dove, I can't imagine you ever having a hardened heart. I found myself seeking help this morning after reading a particular post. I was totally angered that someone would be so cruel to others. Thank goodness He calmed me down and guided my response. Keep the faith

morningDove said...

The scripture "gentle as a dove" would be my desire. But I need desperately to spend some downtime with the Lord. He needs to deal with me for sure. More of Him less of me.

Tangled Threads said...

You are wise to see this in yourself and to take it to the Father. It's those times we don't lay it at his feet that we become hardened.